So, I’ve been trying to keep working and moving and generally being productive. It helps me feel a bit better and besides, it’s easier doing something than to do nothing.
Since the most distracting type of “doing something” for me is coding, I set myself the task of changing the system tray icon implementation for JuK to the newly-added KNotificationItem. This was involved enough in JuK’s case to be worth doing without being so involved that I’d get fed up. It was a nice distraction for a day.
I noticed that the KDE 4.3.1 release was dedicated to the memory of Emma, which is something Mary and I appreciated.
I went back to work last week, but it was too early as it turned out. I tried again yesterday and it seemed to go better so I think I’m on track to resume my qualification process for instructor duty. Obviously the support provided to me by my command has been invaluable in helping Mary and I get through the grieving process.
I had (finally) informed our bank/insurance company of Emma’s passing last week. I received a package in the mail from them yesterday, but with no forms or anything to fill out, just a short letter and a short pamphlet. Kind of a nice touch, I thought. The pamphlet mentions that the grieving process begins after the shock, numbness, and disbelief subside. In my case I know I’ve been grieving and I know that Emma is gone and yet depending on what I’m thinking it still doesn’t “register” sometimes that she is dead. It’s gotten to where it feels more eerie than painful but it is still disconcerting to simultaneously know that your baby is gone and feel that she is right there.
I also finally got around to moving some of our broken-down cardboard boxes to a recycling facility. I had thought it required showing up during business hours, which is difficult when those hours coincide with my working hours. And I didn’t feel like doing it when I was on emergency leave somehow. But it turned out there are collection facilities where you can just drop it off at your leisure, so now our garage has much less crap in it.
I am in graduate school now so although I will be trying to increase my programming-related activity if only for my own peace of mind, I’m not sure how much of that time I’ll be able to contribute to maintenance of my current KDE projects (as few as those already are). kdesvn-build will probably be my priority due to the shift (someday) to the Git source control system and because few KDE coders are familiar with Perl. (Even if kdesvn-build gets obsoleted I hear there is another possibility being worked on by a different Michael…)
I’ll probably try to blog more often as well. I usually feel better and I used to post entries quite frequently (when I was in college and had tons of time at least!)